The Journey Begins

I have never written a blog, so this is a first for me. I have done plenty of writing. In fact, I write almost daily. I just never thought anyone would read it! So why now? I am going through a major life transition, and I feel a little lost. All my life the path has been clear. I've worked towards goals and never faltered. But now, the goal is unclear. All the goals have been attained, at least the goals we are "supposed to achieve in life". I'm too young to just stop. Too young to do nothing. I know now is the time to "live the life of my dreams".

The big question is what am I dreaming? What does one do when they can do anything? I retired from my 25 year career as a teacher on September 1, 2022. It was spectacular! No more daily drudge. I could sleep in. I could travel. And I did. Now, it's the end of November, and I believe the extent of it all is just settling in. Now what? I've slept. I've travelled. I've lunched and coffee'd and yoga'd. Now what? Who am I? Why am I here? What do I want? Have you ever asked yourself these questions? What is the purpose of it all?

I have just settled into the nothingness of time. Not in a bad way, just in a very real and bleak way. If life is to live, what am I doing to live my dreams? You may think it's easy, but I feel numb. I feel unsure about the way forward. I'm not ready to quit working. I'm not ready to spend all day reading or walking or visiting. I need and want a purpose. I have ideas, but I feel blocked. Apathetic.

For the first time in my life I don't feel needed. I'm not needed by my family. I'm not needed by work. It's a little overwhelming in some ways. What do I do with all the time on my hands? I keep busy, I go out, but I spend a lot of time doing nothing and feeling a little empty. Again, where's that purpose? That sense of something greater than one's self? The reward you get from giving to others. You might think it's easy, but it's complex. It brings up a lot of pain. My feelings of inadequacy at not doing this right. Is there a right way? Shouldn't I instinctively know what to do? Well, I don't. And so, this blog. Hopefully this will help me find my way forward. And maybe, just maybe, there are others like me feeling the same thing. They want to make a meaningful change in their life, they are ready to transform, they just need some help getting started. Well, let's help each other. Let's get this party started.